I've
given my self a new name: The Queen of Procrastination.
How
did I come by this auspicious title, you ask? Well, I'll tell you.
I
can spend more time getting less done than anyone I know. I can sit
down at my computer, determined to get some writing done and next
thing I know, I've played about a dozen hands of solitaire on my
iPad.
After
I've forced myself to put the iPad away and get some work done, I'll
decide it's time for 'research.' This can take up the rest of my day
while I troll the Internet for obscure facts and tidbits which have
absolutely nothing to do with my task at hand.
Some
of the little nuggets of knowledge I've acquired include:
Starfish have eyes the same size as their stomachs. Maybe that's where the saying, 'His eyes are bigger than his stomach' came from.
The English invented football (called soccer in the U.S.) while kicking around the heads of slaughtered Danish invaders. Gross!
In the classic Alfred Hitchcock movie Psycho, chocolate syrup was used for blood, and the 45-second scene took a week to shoot. At least it tasted good.
Zebras are black with white stripes; A shaved zebra is completely black. Who knew? And why would you want to shave a zebra? Lose a bar bet?
Owl eyes are bigger than their brains. That would be a good insult.
Women invented bulletproof vests, windshield wipers, and fire escapes. 'Nuff said.
The 60s sci-fi series Lost in Space was set in the year 1997!
The only bird that can fly backwards is the hummingbird. But why would they want to?
Among those voted least likely to succeed by their high school classmates were Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss), Gene Hackman, Tom Cruise, and Robin Williams. Robin was voted Most Funny. Just goes to show you, 'The Geeks Shall Rule the World.'
Squirrels can't remember where they hide half their nuts. Get your mind out of the gutter!
Humphrey Bogart's character Rick never says, "Play it again, Sam" in the movie Casablanca. What he actually said was, "You played it for her, you can play it for me."
A goldfish can live up to 40 years. Has anyone ever had one live longer than a few weeks before you were forced to hold a funeral in the porcelain mausoleum?
Mel Blanc's tombstone reads, "That's all folk." Appropriate.
The first two female FBI agents were hired in 1972. One was a former nun, the other a former U.S. Marine. That must have been one strict nun!
Elephants are the only mammals that can't jump. Unless you count my 400 lb. cousin Marty.
The original Oxford English Dictionary defined terrorism as, 'government by intimidation.' Speaks for itself.
The voice telling AOL users "You've Got Mail" belongs to Elwood Edwards.
The word 'mortgage' comes from the French meaning Pledge to the Death or Death Contract. That explains a lot.
Some flavors of Jell-O that never caught on include cola, chocolate, celery, apple, and coffee. EEWWW.
The first time a toilet was shown on American TV was in an episode of Leave it to Beaver entitled 'Captain Jack.' Actually, since censors would not allow a toilet to be shown, only the tank was allowed to be shot. Where are all the censors today?
The first novel to be written on a typewriter was 'Tom Sawyer.' Wouldn't paper been better?
When Pearl Harbor was bombed, the top Navy command was called CINCUS (rhymes with sink us). It stood for Commander-in-Chief, US Fleet. Guess they didn't think that one through.
Half of all Americans end up within 50 miles of where they grew up. Do you believe that?
The percentage of men who would marry the same woman all over again if given the chance - 80.
The percentage of women who would marry the same man all over again if given the chance - 50.
Guess that means 30 percent of the men are in BIG TROUBLE!
Your ears and nose never stop growing. More bad news for Ross Perot.
When two hippos are about to fight, they point their anuses at each other, wag their stubby little tails vigorously, and flick feces at each other. Is that where the saying 'fighting dirty' came from?
When adult male giraffes fight, they bang their necks together, although neither is ever hurt. That ought to really impress the female giraffes.
The largest denomination of legal tender ever used in the United States was the $100,000 bill. It had a picture of Woodrow Wilson on its face and was never circulated to the public for obvious reasons. Could you just see someone shopping in the big box superstore and trying to pay with a $100,000 bill? Don't think any of the cashiers would be able to figure out the change for that.
Given her proportions, if Barbie were a real woman she would be 7'2" and her measurements would be 38-18-34. Va Va Voom!
Every month that begins on a Sunday will have a Friday the 13th. Look out Triskaideikaphobics.
The only job of male bees is to mate with the queen. Those who do die in the act. Think I'd rather be her gay best friend.
Originally, Superman didn't have the ability to fly, but he could leap tall buildings in a single bound. Bet everyone hated to compete against him in the high jump.
The first computer debugger was Ada Lovelace, who literally removed dead bugs from the mechanism of Charles Babbage's analytical engine, which was built using mechanical, not electronic, technology. Hope she had a vacuum.
Humans and giraffes have the same number of neck bones, the giraffe's are just longer.
Good thing ours aren't as long; that'd make turtleneck sweaters look funny.
The machine used in shoe stores to measure shoe size was named after the inventor, Charles F. Brannock. The first prototype was patented in 1926. Learned something trivial didn't you?
A U.S. spinning penny is actually slightly more likely to end up tails because slightly more material is used to make the heads side. I know y'all will pull out a penny now to see if this is true.
If a group of wrasses (a type of fish) is all female, the largest female of the group will transform into a
male. What a mensch!
Blue Jays often forget where they store their food for the winter. Maybe they need to get with the squirrels and form a co-op.
Gadsby: A Story of Over 50,000 Words Without Using the Letter 'E' is a 1939 novel by Ernest
Vincent Wright. I can't even imagine being able to do that!
Hippopotomonstrosequipedaliaphobia is the fear of long words, and no, I didn't make that up!
Starfish have eyes the same size as their stomachs. Maybe that's where the saying, 'His eyes are bigger than his stomach' came from.
The English invented football (called soccer in the U.S.) while kicking around the heads of slaughtered Danish invaders. Gross!
In the classic Alfred Hitchcock movie Psycho, chocolate syrup was used for blood, and the 45-second scene took a week to shoot. At least it tasted good.
Zebras are black with white stripes; A shaved zebra is completely black. Who knew? And why would you want to shave a zebra? Lose a bar bet?
Owl eyes are bigger than their brains. That would be a good insult.
Women invented bulletproof vests, windshield wipers, and fire escapes. 'Nuff said.
The 60s sci-fi series Lost in Space was set in the year 1997!
The only bird that can fly backwards is the hummingbird. But why would they want to?
Among those voted least likely to succeed by their high school classmates were Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss), Gene Hackman, Tom Cruise, and Robin Williams. Robin was voted Most Funny. Just goes to show you, 'The Geeks Shall Rule the World.'
Squirrels can't remember where they hide half their nuts. Get your mind out of the gutter!
Humphrey Bogart's character Rick never says, "Play it again, Sam" in the movie Casablanca. What he actually said was, "You played it for her, you can play it for me."
A goldfish can live up to 40 years. Has anyone ever had one live longer than a few weeks before you were forced to hold a funeral in the porcelain mausoleum?
Mel Blanc's tombstone reads, "That's all folk." Appropriate.
The first two female FBI agents were hired in 1972. One was a former nun, the other a former U.S. Marine. That must have been one strict nun!
Elephants are the only mammals that can't jump. Unless you count my 400 lb. cousin Marty.
The original Oxford English Dictionary defined terrorism as, 'government by intimidation.' Speaks for itself.
The voice telling AOL users "You've Got Mail" belongs to Elwood Edwards.
The word 'mortgage' comes from the French meaning Pledge to the Death or Death Contract. That explains a lot.
Some flavors of Jell-O that never caught on include cola, chocolate, celery, apple, and coffee. EEWWW.
The first time a toilet was shown on American TV was in an episode of Leave it to Beaver entitled 'Captain Jack.' Actually, since censors would not allow a toilet to be shown, only the tank was allowed to be shot. Where are all the censors today?
The first novel to be written on a typewriter was 'Tom Sawyer.' Wouldn't paper been better?
When Pearl Harbor was bombed, the top Navy command was called CINCUS (rhymes with sink us). It stood for Commander-in-Chief, US Fleet. Guess they didn't think that one through.
Half of all Americans end up within 50 miles of where they grew up. Do you believe that?
The percentage of men who would marry the same woman all over again if given the chance - 80.
The percentage of women who would marry the same man all over again if given the chance - 50.
Guess that means 30 percent of the men are in BIG TROUBLE!
Your ears and nose never stop growing. More bad news for Ross Perot.
When two hippos are about to fight, they point their anuses at each other, wag their stubby little tails vigorously, and flick feces at each other. Is that where the saying 'fighting dirty' came from?
When adult male giraffes fight, they bang their necks together, although neither is ever hurt. That ought to really impress the female giraffes.
The largest denomination of legal tender ever used in the United States was the $100,000 bill. It had a picture of Woodrow Wilson on its face and was never circulated to the public for obvious reasons. Could you just see someone shopping in the big box superstore and trying to pay with a $100,000 bill? Don't think any of the cashiers would be able to figure out the change for that.
Given her proportions, if Barbie were a real woman she would be 7'2" and her measurements would be 38-18-34. Va Va Voom!
Every month that begins on a Sunday will have a Friday the 13th. Look out Triskaideikaphobics.
The only job of male bees is to mate with the queen. Those who do die in the act. Think I'd rather be her gay best friend.
Originally, Superman didn't have the ability to fly, but he could leap tall buildings in a single bound. Bet everyone hated to compete against him in the high jump.
The first computer debugger was Ada Lovelace, who literally removed dead bugs from the mechanism of Charles Babbage's analytical engine, which was built using mechanical, not electronic, technology. Hope she had a vacuum.
Humans and giraffes have the same number of neck bones, the giraffe's are just longer.
Good thing ours aren't as long; that'd make turtleneck sweaters look funny.
The machine used in shoe stores to measure shoe size was named after the inventor, Charles F. Brannock. The first prototype was patented in 1926. Learned something trivial didn't you?
A U.S. spinning penny is actually slightly more likely to end up tails because slightly more material is used to make the heads side. I know y'all will pull out a penny now to see if this is true.
If a group of wrasses (a type of fish) is all female, the largest female of the group will transform into a
male. What a mensch!
Blue Jays often forget where they store their food for the winter. Maybe they need to get with the squirrels and form a co-op.
Gadsby: A Story of Over 50,000 Words Without Using the Letter 'E' is a 1939 novel by Ernest
Vincent Wright. I can't even imagine being able to do that!
Hippopotomonstrosequipedaliaphobia is the fear of long words, and no, I didn't make that up!
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